July 2026 Newsletter
- Jul 1
- 4 min read
This month, I'm heading back to Kentucky for my nephew's wedding, and it has me full of feelings in the best possible way. It's the first wedding in our family, and watching him step into this season of life is something truly special. He spent his first summer after college right here in Alaska, fishing, before starting his civil engineering career.
To see him now, choosing a wonderful partner (who's also a future LCSW!), buying his first home, and building his life with intention, is a reminder of why these milestones matter so much.
Here in Girdwood, summer is arriving fashionably late as always, things are blooming later than usual this year, and I'm here for it. The basket chairs are out on the deck (I’m staying in the chair for now, safe from the moose in the yard!), the mountains are doing what they do, and the natural world is very much part of the work this season. There is something about sitting beside moving water, surrounded by mountains, glaciers, trees and rock, that helps people access what they couldn't quite reach indoors.
I couldn't be more ready for this summer.
This month I’m sharing another piece by my favorite Girdwood artist, Dawn Gerety. Her work holds wildness and stillness at the same time, which feels exactly right.
Beyond Conflict: Building a Relationship That Creates Meaning, Purpose, and Lasting Connection
Most couples come to therapy hoping to reduce conflict, communicate better, or reconnect after a difficult season. While these goals are important, research from Drs. John and Julie Gottman suggest that the strongest relationships don’t simply avoid problems, they create a rich and meaningful life together. Their Sound Relationship House model teaches that friendship, trust, and effective conflict management form the foundation of a healthy relationship. However, the highest levels of relationship satisfaction emerge when partners support one another’s dreams and develop a shared sense of meaning and purpose. When couples are connected to something larger than the day-to-day stresses of life, they become more resilient, more compassionate, and better equipped to weather life’s inevitable challenges together.
Making Life Dreams Come True
Every person enters a relationship carrying hopes, aspirations, and dreams. Some dreams are practical, while others reflect deeper longings for purpose, growth, adventure, contribution, or belonging. The Gottmans found that successful couples create space to understand and support each other’s dreams rather than dismissing or competing with them. This doesn’t mean partners must share every dream. Instead, they become curious about what matters most to one another and actively support each other’s growth.
Questions such as, “What do you hope your life will look like in five years?” or “What is something you’ve always wanted to pursue?” can open meaningful conversations. When partners feel seen, heard, and supported in pursuing their dreams, they experience greater trust, emotional intimacy, and connection. Relationships become more than a partnership for managing daily responsibilities—they become a place where both individuals can thrive.
Creating Shared Meaning
While individual dreams matter, thriving relationships also develop a shared vision for the future. The Gottmans call this creating shared meaning. Shared meaning grows through the rituals, values, traditions, goals, and experiences that define a couple’s life together. It may be found in family traditions, annual vacations, holiday celebrations, shared spiritual practices, volunteer work, or simply the daily rituals that help partners stay connected.
Couples who intentionally create shared meaning often ask themselves important questions: What kind of life are we building together? What values guide our decisions? What traditions do we want to pass on? What legacy do we hope to create? These conversations help couples move beyond merely coexisting and toward building a life filled with purpose and connection. When disagreements arise—as they inevitably will—a shared sense of meaning provides a larger framework that helps partners navigate challenges without losing sight of what truly matters.
The happiest relationships are not those without conflict. They are relationships grounded in friendship, strengthened by trust, and guided by a shared vision for a meaningful life together.
A Simple Practice for This Season
This summer, set aside 20 minutes with your partner, no phones, no agenda, and take turns finishing these two sentences:
About Individual Dreams
What is something you hope to experience, accomplish, or learn in the next few years?
What is one dream or goal you haven’t talked much about lately?
How can I better support that dream?
About Shared Meaning
What is one thing we’re creating together that makes you proud?
What tradition or ritual do you most value in our relationship?
What is one experience we’d like to create together in the next year?
Reflection: At the end of the conversation, each partner completes this sentence:
“One thing I learned about you today is __________.”
“One thing I’d like us to create together is __________.”
Small conversations like these open doors that have been closed for a while and help couples move beyond managing daily responsibilities and toward building a relationship filled with purpose, connection, and shared meaning.
If you want to go deeper, I put together 20 guided questions to help you and your partner build a richer map of each other's inner world.
If you and your partner are craving more intentional connection, or if you've been feeling like you're moving through life side by side but not quite together, I'd love to talk. That's exactly the kind of work we do.
Aarne’s Update
As of May 30th, somebody passed his test and achieved the level of AKC Canine Good Citizen. We knew it all along, but now it’s official! 🎉
Aarne has been working toward this since his very first board and train at just 8 weeks old. Watching him earn that Good Citizen certification has been one of the proudest moments. This boy has put in the work, and it shows. Next stop: Official Therapy Dog. 🐾
Something I Want to Share About a New Offering
This season, I'm starting something new here in Girdwood, a contained weekend immersive experience for couples who are ready for focused, meaningful work that really propels them on a path forward.
It’s 2 days of intensive work tailored just for you, set in the Chugach mountain range.
If that sounds like it might be for you, it's worth a look.
This work continues to evolve in a way that feels intentional and deeply effective, and I’m glad you’re here.
If this resonated, you’re welcome to share it with someone who might appreciate it. And if something here stood out to you, feel free to reply to this email. I’d love to hear from you.
