October 2025 Newsletter
- Richard Worsfold
- Oct 2
- 3 min read
Welcome to Fall! The leaves are dropping and the sunlight starts later and later in the day. I hope everyone is being sensitive to their light therapy needs and Vitamin D intake. It’s an adjustment for sure. The good things are that it’s certainly a time to slow down from our busy summers and get back into the swing of everyday life.
Please enjoy a beautiful composition of Denali in the fall by one of my favorite Girdwood AK artists, Dawn Gerety. Feel free to check out her other spectacular paintings on her website by clicking the button below.
The Power of Taking a Break:
Protecting Your Relationship From Lasting Damage
In my last newsletter, I shared about emotional flooding. Those moments when conflict overwhelms our nervous system and we can no longer think clearly or communicate effectively. This time, I want to highlight one of the most important ways to protect your connection: taking a time out to self-soothe.
When conflict escalates, it’s easy to forget that in relationships, damage counts for much more than repair. A single hurtful comment or harsh tone can outweigh several positive interactions. Research shows it can take at least five repairs to balance out the impact of one negative exchange. Without this balance, couples can slip into negative sentiment override, where everything your partner does is filtered through a negative lens. Even kind gestures may be dismissed or misinterpreted. Over time, this becomes a recipe for disconnection.
The best way to prevent that spiral is to limit the damage in the first place. That’s where a time out comes in. Taking a break doesn’t mean walking away from your partner, it means stepping back so you don’t say or do something you’ll regret.
How to Take a Healthy Break
Notice the signs. Flooding often shows up as a racing heart, shallow breathing, tense body, or racing thoughts. These cues mean your nervous system has shifted into survival mode.
This is a 2 way street. Not only are you recognizing your personal signs of flooding, but you’re also noticing the signs that your partner is flooding.
Use a signal. Agree with your partner on a neutral word or phrase that means, “I need a break.” As a part of that agreement commit that you will allow your partner to take a break, when you see the signs or they give their signal.
Set a timeframe. A pause usually lasts 20-45 minutes - long enough for your body to calm down but short enough to keep trust intact.
Self-soothe wisely. Don’t rehearse your argument. Instead, use calming tools, listen to music, or go for a walk.
Return Gently. Remember that the person who was flooding is the person who initiates the dialogue. Check in with your partner before resuming: ‘Are you ready to talk again?’ Then began with an ‘I focused’ sentence stem.
Therapy Tools for Self-Soothing
As a client, you have unlimited access to the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) and Rest and Restore Protocol through my practice. These music listening systems are designed to support your nervous system in moving out of fight-or-flight and back into a state of calm connection:
Safe & Sound Protocol (SSP): A listening program using filtered music to improve regulation and resilience.
Rest & Restore Protocol (RRP): Gentle audio-based exercises to help shift from stress into rest and connection.
For more tips on using these tools and caring for your relationship, follow me on Facebook and Instagram.
Why it Works
When you’re flooded, the thinking part of your brain goes offline while survival circuits take over. By pausing and using strategies like SSP or RRP, you give your body the reset it needs. That makes it possible to listen, think clearly, and reconnect with kindness.
Taking a time out is not a weakness, but a strength. It protects your relationship from unnecessary harm and makes genuine repair possible.
Aarne’s Update
Aarne has been keeping busy this summer, making the most of every adventure!
He helped fill the freezers one more time, showing once again that he’s not just the ultimate boat buddy, but also the most loyal four-legged crew member you could want.
Lots of sun, sand, and sniffing adventures out on the Homer spit. Aarne has also been putting his “brain-eating expertise” to the test with an upcoming audition for a zombie film. Don’t worry, he only works with pretend brains!
Mark your calendars! Aarne returns to training on September 26 to continue his journey as a certified therapy dog. (Of course, pictures will follow!)
Aarne’s adventures this summer remind us that life is meant to be playful, curious, and full of exploration, whether it’s on the water, the beach, or the big screen!
